New York (Bloomberg) - President Barack Obama stunned the wrestling world today by picking up its most coveted honor, the WWE RAW Smackdown Championship Superstar status. Mr. Obama better known as, B "Crusher" O, was chosen unanimously beating out favorites Shaman and Tyson Kidd. Worldwide wrestling fans were shocked by Mr. Obama's selection, given that he has never wrestled and during that time has smoked 3,000 packs of cigarettes and snorted 500 lines of coke. Mr. Obama was gracious in receiving the honor, saying that he was "cough ... cough ... hack ... hack ... spit ... spit ... honored and humbled" by the award before excusing himself to accept this year's Nathan's Hot Dog eating championship.
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